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Friendships from distance

A lot of people talk about long distance relationships. Some say it is possible others say it is the hardest thing you could work out and overcome. In fact according to The Center for the Study of Long Distance Relationships, an estimated 2.9% of marriages in general were considered long-distance, with 1 in 10 marriages reported to have included a period at long distance within the first 3 years.

But today I don’t want to talk about relationships but friendships. When you are friends with someone you become really open towards that person. You share your private things; you share experiences as much as love and affection.  They might be people you grew up with, friends that you consider to be family. As we all know your friends are the family you choose. So what really happens when that person or those people move away? The reason behind the moving might be of various origins: family, school, work or personal reasons. But yet the fact that there is distance between you two will affect your friendship. It’s not because you get tired of that person or because you move on too quickly. The cause is that when you are distant from someone you get to have experiences of your own. Shared with a different group of people or a different person. Those experiences will push you to grow together with those people. They will make you, not forget, but disregard the previous ones. And this will slowly but effectively modify your relationship with your old friends. So yeah….it is definite that one of the more difficult challenges a friendship can face is when one friend moves away.

Friends sometimes resent the person who moves away, interpreting it as a personal rejection.  They may not be consciously aware of their resentment, but the reaction is not uncommon. I discovered this when a friend completely ignored the existence of a friend that left. She didn’t want to hear about her or to think about her. And every time she was mentioned she would automatically change the subject regardless the fact that she missed her dearly.

Another fact is that some friends do not know how to maintain a long distance friendship.  They can still try but will end up not managing your time right.

As you can see, long distance friendships can suffer if both people do not make an effort to maintain an ongoing connection.  While it is not easy to do, it can achieve if the friendship is highly valued and both make a conscious decision to stay in touch on a regular basis. Whether you feel like acknowledging it or not, distance has a definite impact on the dynamics of a relationship. But distance should not impact the closeness you have in your heart. Because in reality true friendship is hard to find, the defining moments of friendship were profound, for some a friend is such as the soul mate who helps you through the grief of losing a family member or cames out in your hospital room when you’re sick. For others, it’ is smaller gestures that loom large the friend who talks for hours when you’re feeling alone, bored or even a little stressed.

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