I was visiting this friend and second cousin of mine last Saturday. I went there with my mother on the occasion of her younger sister’s engagement party. There was only one topic of discussion all the guests were displaying time and again since the moment we ar¬rived there ‘’ poor ……her young¬er sister got engaged before her, she must be devastated by now, wish she meet some one some¬day soon.In fact it would be much better if both get married at the same day at least blabla………. the pity talk goes on and on. This older sister who was being the topic of discussion got graduated in one of the very well known fields of study a couple of years ago and for my surprise nobody brought up the subject even as a certain quality expected of some one brilliant. The little sis¬ter who was about to get married two months away and have zero credentials was being praised and admired for convincing some one to marrying her. The funny part is that my friend doesn’t worry about not getting married sooner at all for she has a strong desire of perusing her post graduate stud¬ies. She spends every single min¬ute of her day looking for ways to make her dream come true. On the contrary her sister who is a high school drop out hasn’t been doing anything serious for years and all of a sudden happens to be the heroin in the house just because she is doing something that people for generations have been doing.
Is marriage a priority? Isn’t there something else that is needed to be considered first? Why do people take marriage as one big accomplishment? Don’t get me wrong I am not saying that no credit should be given to it but what I am saying is that it shouldn’t be considered as an accomplishment that gets done out of somebody’s hard work and dogged perseverance, instead it should be taken as an inevitable course in one’s life time. Period! What makes a girl or anyone for that matter; a proud and dignified human being is his/her big deeds that would always remain beyond the grave and this obviously don’t include marriage. I get it that what makes this case more frustrating in case of girls is the biological clock that keeps ticking every second but instead of spending one’s time worrying about not getting married or not meeting a potential someone every now and then it is worthwhile to get committed to one’s dream and do whatever it takes to materialize it. There might be created a coincidence that one would meet some one in the voyage and enjoy the person’s company a lot but it doesn’t mean that such events should be ignored or shouldn’t be given credit if it is for the right person. What should be put in to consideration is that one should make a wise decision in making the right choice. The person who is being chosen should not be a hindrance to what one already has started instead has to support his partner in all possible ways. The point here is there really are more important things a person needs to put first.
What is making this issue more concerning is that it is not only the uneducated people’s view that not getting married at a young age is considered as a bad fortune but it is also the educated ones who share this view. It is so sad that these people joined the outdated way of thinking after spending sixteen or more years of their life in school and so ironic that they turned out to be the influencees instead of becoming influencers. It is true that medical specialists’ advice that it is preferable to start giving birth in mid-twenties but what is worse is the psychological strain that society is putting on unmarried women.
There is this girl who I used to go to the same school with, knowing her all through high school and the years after, she is a genius with high commitments who ended up in med school. One pleasant evening after we both became third year students we sat for a cup of white coffee in one of the coziestcafes in the city. After we spent some time asking about ea¬ch others wellness, I popped out a couple of questions in a single sentence eagerly waiting for what she has to say. For she was always my idol had no doubt that she would say something worthy. What are your short and long¬term goals? And she started to respond right away with out having to make a pause even for a second that put an impression on me that didn’t last for more than few seconds. Her response of the second question was unbelievably shocking, “my short term goal is to finish school and my long term is to get married and have children even before graduation. I never expected to hear such an answer from the girl that I have always admired and believed that she would contribute something to the betterment of the life style that we are having now. This girl never even said a word about what she will do with her professional life, technically, she was saying that she would spend all the years in school so that her children would have a mother who earned her degree in medicine. what makes the situation worse is that she didn’t even has someone in mind at the moment and she put marriage as her goal instead of thinking of working for some thing that is already at hand.
Bottom line is one should think of making something that is of his/her own brand. Get married sooner or later just make sure that it is something that you don’t consider as accomplishment that there is more to discover. Well we all know infinite number of couples around us who have been married for short or long time but that doesn’t make them appear anything special. Take all the world’s most renowned individuals like Albert Einstein, Oprah Winfrey, the freedom fighter Nelson Mandela, Mother Teresa, Maya Anjeleou………etc. they are still remembered with dignity and honour not for their married life but for the everliving contributions that they attributed to the world, that some of them are still alive even after their death be¬cause their deeds are immortal. On top of giving the world what it hadn’t posses before and simplified life, these and other many individuals are playing a crucial role in inspiring youth via their words and deeds. For instance Albert Einstein who existed in this world many generations before is still and will continue to be a big inspiration to youngsters of today and yet to come. Hence let’s try to keep our eyes wide open.