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In the long search for happiness

Last Saturday I went out shopping.  Determined to acquire what my soul had desired, coveted and wished for long. Shopping for the most transcendent good ever.  Happiness! Considering the world and all that takes place within it, I have convinced  myself  that  there  is  no such  a  thing  as  happiness,  however,  my  poor  soul  didn’t  totally give  up  on  happiness.  Deeply  it has  understood  that  happiness  is one  of  the  major  recipes  in  baking  a  delicious  dish  of  life  in  this earth.  Thus  I  went  out  shopping, searching  for  the  essence  of  happiness. I had a handsome amount of cash that can accommodate me well in the shopping spree I set out to have.

Wishing the pendulum of luck would swing into my favor, I went out in the voyage of discovery of happiness.  But  little  did  I know  that  there  is  no  a  price  tag for happiness. As many more others over e on, I was more than ready to buy happiness at any cost offered, even if it would mean that I have to make a deal with the devil for my soul.

Somehow I felt that it is worth every thing I have. You see I was this much desperate to be happy and I was not about to back down from acquiring it during my stay in life.  I  have  read  and  heard  about the grand tales and legends of happiness  and  ever  since  then  I  have wanted  it  with  pure  passion  and intense drive. With an iron willed determination and unabashed openness I have been seeking it. Let’s  just  sum  up  saying  that  I needed it more than anything else in this world and was ready to pay whatever  cost  and  value  it  might demand  I  was  prepared  to  pay  it even  with  the  coins  of  dripping blood  if  the  occasion  should  call for it.

Long  before  I  understood  the concept  of  happiness  and  its  very essence,  I  have  absently  coveted it.  Unconsciously, I have sought it.  Long  before  I  could  spell  out the word happiness I have desired it  with  all  my  senses  coveting  it with every fiber in my body. When I grow up and realized the role of happiness  in  one’s  life,  I  have  set out  into  the  journey  of  discovery.

My  adventure  has  taken  me  in  to adopting  many  habits,  searching happiness in all the wrong places. In  the  embrace  of  different  lovers,  in  booze  bottles,  in  the  gambling  activities  I  pursued  once,  in the  hobbies  I  developed  now  and then but my search was to no avail. That’s  when  I  decided  to  buy  it, given  that  I  can  afford  the  price offered.  I  was  willing  to  bid  the highest  bid  in  the  auction  of  self-contentment.

Man  without  happiness  is  lost, like  a  ship  without  a  compass; without  the  presence  of  happiness, everything seems to be vain, pointless. If a man can’t get a satisfaction  and  peace  of  mind  that will  eventually  feel  him  with  the senses  of  happiness,  then  what  is living and what is life in general? If  I  could  climb  the  highest  ladder  of  success  and  acquired  vast wealth  for  me,  if  I  should  make my  acquaintances  with  kings  and queens  and  would  dine  and  wine with  princesses  and  princes,  but can never experience a single seconds of happiness even for a fleeting moment, then what’s the use of all  this? What is this restlessness that haunts me day and night? This sinking feeling I experience when I thought that I am where I should be  and  have  what  I  need  in  life? Why does my mind wander around in search of deep satisfaction in life? Why do I feel I have forgotten  something  totally  ignoring  an important  fact  when  I  have  completed all my to do list in my life? Is  it  sickness,  I  always  wondered about,  or  some  kind  of  incurable disease  I  happen  to  inherent  from my past?
I turn on the TVs and the breaking news of our world and see that a certain someone, one of the VIPs of our world have been found dead in  his  or  her  penthouse  in  a  Four Season Hotel, committed a suicide after  overdosing  him  or  herself with  a  sleeping  pills.  And  here  I thought  that  sleep  would  come naturally  to  everyone  especially to  the  haves.  Why?  Taking  Aristotle’s  saying  ‘Happiness  belongs to the self-sufficient’  I  frown,  unable to fathom the cause that could drive  someone  who  has  everything  in  life  to  commit  a  suicide.

You know what people?  some -times I really wonder why people would  be  sad  or  broody  or  would go  to  the  extremes  and  commit  suicide  in  places  like  Las  Vegas. I  mean  seriously,  Las  Vegas  and all  its  lights  and  gambling  places with  its  outrageous  traditions  and liberty  to  do  anything  one  wants, one would think that one is in the shoes  of  Pinocchio  when  he  went to that  Lands of Euphoria  with 24 hours of total bliss and happiness. Even in the most exotic places surrounded  by  people  we  love  and care  about,  there  is  this  longing deep down inside us that no money or pleasure can’t quite sate it, this void inside us that can’t be filled with wealth and success.

When I ponder about such things, I am afraid that I would end up being a very bitter woman who spent whatever  fortune  was  attached  to my  name  and  my  youthful  years in the quest of finding happiness in  life.  I shudder with uneasiness at the mere thought of that.  Oh my  God  I  really  don’t  want  to  be like  this  acquaintance  that  I  happened  to  know  once,  what  was his  name?  Yeah!  I  am  not  at  liberty to mention his name out loud, yeah  but  this  man  had  everything in  life with  out  happiness  of  the heart. The  problem  with  this  man is  that  he  didn’t  know  how  to  be happy if there is a way how to be happy  but  nevertheless  it  seemed to  me  that  his  soul  had  somehow rebelled  against  him  and  made sure  to  make  him  miserable  all the  years  of  his  life.

In situations where anyone can be considerably calm and happy, he will find means to brood and fret.  He  is forever  coming  across  something that will worry him and I think because of his deprivation to peace of mind which he seem to run away at every opportunity of being happy and relaxed, things have agreed to  gang  up  on  him.  The  man  has chosen  to  be  miserable  at  his  own choice  and  will.  There  is  nothing the  universe  can  do  to  spare  him from  his  broody  nature  after  providing him with good fortune and looks and I thought that these two are the ultimate factors that could make  a  man  happy.  In  short  the man  would  create  a  drama  in  his life if he can’t find something to fret  about.  He  is  what  my  friends would  address  as  a  ‘drama  junkie’.  In  a  Tigrigna  saying,  ‘Gets HemleSene’  roughly  translated  as a face that reflects the rainy season with  no  sun  shinning  to  brighten the day.   But  I  wonder  and  keep  asking this  question  is  happiness  a  goal? Is it something we can attain? Or is it a state of mind and a condition of a soul? What does constitute happiness? Deposits in a Swiss Bank? The best Villa in uptown? The best car in town?  Beauty?  Knowledge and wisdom… etc, what is it constituted of? We think that if we can achieve this or that then we would definitely be happy that all our mounting worries would vanish into the thin air. But that is not the case.

We  all  keep  searching  happiness in all the wrong places and approach it in all wrong manners. Happiness  is  not  something  we bring  from  outside  accomplishments  but  rather  something  that springs from within, that comes up from an understanding of the soul, clarifying and identifying your purpose in this world, having a dream to pursue and being honest to you and all the people that destiny has ordained you shall live with, from the realization that life is too short to fill it with worry and hostility. In short it is accepting life as it is and  living  in  harmony  with  your conscious,  soul,  parents,  families, relatives,  coworkers,  community, and  the  universe  at  large.  That happiness is merely the harmony of the soul with the life one is leading.

Yeah!  What is happiness except the simple harmony between a man and the life he leads? Happiness as a topic and also as an experience has become the most intriguing and mysterious subject matter ever. It’s the last paragraph of the article but still I don’t have any clue to what happiness is and what constitutes it.  I  guess  it  will always  remain  to  be  a  mystery  to us.

What is happiness? I might try to  answer  it  but  it  won’t  be  satisfactory  so  I  am  letting  you  differ about  your  answers  to  this  great mystery of the Universe? Let each seek one’s own way to the highest, to one’s own sense of happiness, one’s ideal of happiness.  So what is happiness to you?  Lets  each of  us  bring  forth  our  own  understanding  and  meaning  of  happiness. When it comes to happiness, everyone wants to have it, feel it, experience it and bask in its essence. Every one of us is ready to do almost anything to experience it.  We  all  have  the  same  stance, that  happiness  is  such  a  transcendent  good  that  should  be  sought after at all costs, till our last penny of our fortune and our last breath. But one thing is for sure and that is happiness  doesn’t  come  from  trying to pursue it but from accepting life  and  living  with  one’s  soul  in harmony  and  the  grand  essentials of happiness are: something to do, something to love, and something to hope for.
My search of happiness continues…..

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